I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
