Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
