But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
