Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
