She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
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I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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