Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
