i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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