It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I would ride that face into the sunset
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
