We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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