Soap is not a condiment
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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