I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
