You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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