Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
