this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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