oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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