I'm gonna have a badass scar
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
