I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
