That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
