i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
