Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
