Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
this just has baby written all over it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
