let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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