im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the liver wants what the liver wants
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
