Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dignity is for republicans.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
