Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
