After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
