I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
