I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
