I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
