remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
