Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
did i just pee glitter
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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