her vagine was all disorganized.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
