conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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