I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
this hospital has no fireball
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
