My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
