I want to stick my p in your. b.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
