Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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