I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
