Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize