I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
