Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
