thus making me awesome and them whores
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
