I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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