He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
