I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Randomize
