a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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