i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
