Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
