If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
