so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize