he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
