I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
