Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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