Your dad touched me again.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
