yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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