Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize