Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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