ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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