Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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